3 Steps to Finding Balance for New Moms
A lot of times women who quit their jobs to become stay-at-home mommies find themselves in this situation – handling everything! Many women seem to handle this transition without so much as a wrinkle in the fabric of their lives. However, if you’re reading this, you may be finding full-time motherhood to be a difficult transition. Being a mommy is supposed to be a fulfilling moment and one of life’s most meaningful seasons.
The truth is that transitions can be hard – even when they’re planned. It can be difficult to go from the world of career with daily accomplishments, colleagues, goals, rewards, and a sense of control over your time. Being a mother can be draining, isolating, and leave you searching for a new circle of friends with similar interests and values.
Many times, even with these newbie friendships, which take time to develop, especially depending on your personality, it’s difficult to find personal fulfillment.
Of course you love your new bundle of joy! Of course you love your husband, your family, your friends, and your furry companions. Nevertheless, whether you had a satisfying career before or not, you may be feeling like you want more out of life. You also may have a dump truck of guilt sitting on your front lawn that keeps you pretending to the neighbors that you’ve mastered the art of multi-tasking and being the queen of child development as well as being the diva-mom of the preschool.
Even though you know how important being a mother is. Even though you love your baby and children and husband more than anything. Even though your house is clean, your children are perfect and you’ve conquered the art of 30-minute meals that waft of gourmet sauces, this transition may leave you needing to figure out how to do life again.
If this describes you, take heart. The problem isn’t you. The problem is one of balance. Striking the right balance that works for you and your family takes time in the face of change.
Get started adjusting by taking a personal assessment, prioritize your needs and wants and lastly, decide on action steps to achieve your goals. If you’re not a pen and paper kind of person, a voice recorder on your phone might work best for you. No matter what method you choose, get started.
1. Personal Assessment
Pray. Ask God for guidance as you take stock of where you are at this new season in life. Make a list including:
What are you thankful for?
What do you value?
What are your personal strengths?
Lastly, make a list of your needs and wants like a daily shower and time to exercise as well as chores
2. Next, Prioritize
Prioritize the needs vs. wants of your family as well as yourself.
3. Balance
Review your priorities and take time to list what you need in order to achieve balance during this new season of life. When it comes to striking the right balance, it may take some baby steps and planning (like who will buy groceries on Saturday and who will take the trash out on Thursday) in order to achieve what’s on your list, but in time, you’ll get there. The key is working toward a flexible balance in order to preserve peace in your relationships and responsibilities. It may take asking for help from a friend, doing research, saving money to go back to school, or even finding a part-time job that will allow you to juggle your schedule with your spouse.
When you’re done, acknowledge your newfound clarity. Be gentle with yourself and remember to thank God for blessings, encouragement, and guidance. This may take some time. Remember to be gentle with your spouse as they try to cope with a new balance as well.
Take a deep breath.
Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.” – Matthew 19:26, NLT