How to Do Life with Less Drama and Expense

WITH 10 LIFE-CHANGING DAILY HABITS

Have you ever wished for a formula for HOW TO DO LIFE? In algebra, for example, formulas make the whole problem work out. Best of all, there’s a right answer.

Life isn’t as simple as solving a math problem.

In spite of our best efforts, life can be full of surprises, disagreements, disappointments, and shifting situations with others. Our actions can leap ahead of our thoughts, our thoughts can lead us off course, and our internal filter can temporarily go on strike and leave us flapping our jaws with later regret. Life is complicated and making a perfect 100 at it? Impossible!

However, with the right approach, living a life that is rich and satisfying without tons of conflict, drama, and expense is possible!

Messy Parts of Life

It would be lovely to get situations right every time instead of going through messy stuff like:

• arguments,
• break-ups,
• losing our cool at work,
• financial ruin,
• getting hurt,
• emptiness,
• losing out on what we want,
• depression, and
• failure.

The seemingly unrelenting messy stuff of life can leave us feeling like we’ve done life “wrong“. We may feel as if we’re wrong. Everyone else is winning. Why can’t we?

Some of us might refer to DOING LIFE as “adulting”. Others might call it being responsible, taking action, or “being the ball”. However, the way we do life is more than just seizing the moment and taking action while trying to sidestep the quirky blunders of others as well as ourselves.

Whether our messy monsters are emptiness, depression, failure, a break-up, or something else, an overly critical inner voice can breath disapproval of ourselves at a time when our greatest need is comfort, guidance, and wisdom.

Looking at problems from different perspectives and reading self-help books might be helpful. However, attempts at being right, doing life right, and creating a new and better life or even finding solutions often lead to temporary fixes which then lead to even more disappointment.

Disappointment is a close cousin of emptiness and leads to probably the most common approach for doing life, “Searching for Fulfillment”. The search for fulfillment has many forms which are focused on finding and getting people, places, and things that will fulfill or fix us. The problem is that these attempts are temporary and expensive. Therefore the search for fulfillment and “how to do life” continue and the drama also continues.

Different Approaches to Life

“Do it afraid”, “Follow your bliss”, “Stop reaching for perfection, just reach”, “I think I can, I think I can…”, “Drink more, worry less”, “Shop ’til you drop” “Chocolate therapy”, “An organized space leads to more organized thoughts…” etc., Although there is a grain of truth to some of these statements, none of them can truly satisfy our emptiness. Each of these approaches might lead to temporary solutions. However, none of these ideas have the power to change our hearts or our long-term circumstances. None of these earthly strategies has the power to heal our pain and make lasting, positive changes.

Temporary attempts to self-soothe in order to fill our empty holes, still leaves us with a network of remaining hollows. Inevitably, we may feel better for a moment, but nothing has truly changed.

The reason?

Earthly ideas don’t have an omniscient plan for our lives. Only God has infinite, all-knowing power and wisdom. Earthly strategies don’t love us unconditionally. Only God is available 24/7 to guide and comfort.

Why Trust an Invisible God?

Why would we turn to God for lasting change? Isn’t God just something we tell children in order to soothe their feelings? Surely, as adults we know better. Surely, we have evolved beyond contrived fairy tales.

As adults we’re often hardened against believing there could possibly be a God who loves us. We’ve been deceived and disappointed too much to fall for unconditional love or an omniscient plan for our lives. Aren’t we the ones who actually get up and go to work, pay the bills, and find happiness? How can God actually exist and make any difference?

There’s a saying in Alcoholics Anonymous that when we get sick and tired of being sick and tired, we will seek change. Perhaps this saying originated with Fannie Lou Hamer, a civil rights activist. Nevertheless, we seek God based on His character. And if you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired of the drama and expense, now is a good time to accept that on our own, we can do nothing, but with God, true and lasting change is possible. In fact, if you still aren’t convinced, read what real individuals from prison write about their struggles with alcoholism and how God is changing them.

God didn’t only care for biblical people. God didn’t only reveal himself to Moses or Isaiah. Jesus didn’t come to put an end to everyone’s fun. Jesus came to offer a full life with God. God made many promises to us. The Bible shows us God’s character as well as His promises for us today as we see from the following Biblical scriptures:

“I will be your God throughout your lifetime – until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.” – Isaiah 46:4, NLT

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'” – Jeremiah 29:11, NLT

“‘For I hold you by your right hand – I, the Lord your God. And I say to you, ‘Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.'” – Isaiah 41:13, NLT

Bottom line, God loves us. We can trust God because He has shown us His character as well as His intent for our good. If you’re ready to try God, try talking to God. Tell God what’s going on. Tell God your worries, fears, frustrations. God cares and God guides.

Winning at Life

Life dramatically changes when we consistently turn to the source of all life. Decision by decision, situation by situation, our lives begin an upward flight path out of disappointment, loneliness, and emptiness. Relying on God’s wisdom, mercy, and grace in every circumstance throughout every day has the power to change life forever. The key is consistency to winning at life. As Joyce Meyer has stated, we must, “Do what’s right and do what’s right and do what’s right…” in order to see results.

God will guide us through difficult, seemingly impossible situations with the right words at just the right time. He restores relationships, provides mentors, jobs, encouragement, comfort, strength, and peace. When our earthly vision can see only two options, God often provides a third way. Like making rivers in the desert, God makes a way forward in spite of our current obstacles and limited understanding.

“For I am about to do something new.
    See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
    I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.”

Isaiah 43:19, NLT

The Formula for Living with Less Drama & Expense

Reliance on God, is the formula for life.

“When I am overwhelmed, you alone know the way I should turn.” – Psalm 142:3, NLT

How can we rely on God? How can depending on the unseen be the answer in a visible, three-dimensional world? Instead of running to people, new things, or busy activities to help, distract, or to soothe our suffering, we learn to run to God, our protector, healer, comforter, counselor, and author of our faith.

Start winning at life! Use the following 10 life-changing, daily habits to get free from the drama and expense of living life.

10 Life-changing, Daily Habits

10. Be in relationship with God. Prayer is our initiation of communication and awareness of God’s presence. Being with fellow believers also strengthens our communion with God.

“‘In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.'” – Jeremiah 29:12-13, NLT

9. Pray continuously. How often do we actually pray? Prayer is a conversation with God which includes our listening to Him. Prayer includes our thankfulness as well as our fears, worries, needs, and hopes. Through prayer we ask for forgiveness; we also remember and acknowledge God’s holiness.

“Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, NLT

8. Stop inner criticism. There’s a difference in self-reflection and having an internal monologue of criticism. We overcome inner criticism by surrounding ourselves with God’s word through Christian podcasts, music, books, and carefully selected entertainment. Instead of giving space for random, destructive thoughts, we can block and reprogram our thinking to be in line with God’s truth, not the inner critiques which are perhaps remnants of inferiority and shame.

“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.” – 1 Peter 5:8-9, NIV

“We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God…” – 2 Corinthians 10:4-5, NLT

7. Focus on blessings. In other words, we focus on our blessings instead of our drama. Reach for the tool of gratitude instead of a credit card or the refrigerator. Many, many times throughout the Bible, we are told to “fear not”. When we shift our focus to God’s truth, we begin to change as our outlook changes. Our thinking patterns change. Our possibilities change. Our actions change. Our current circumstances change. Our relationships change. Our future changes.

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” – Philippians 4:8, NLT

“So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10, NIV

6. Keep a record of answered prayers. Noting God’s presence and goodness in our daily lives strengthens our faith. As we recognize God’s goodness, we learn to trust in Him. Peace reigns when we know that in all circumstances, God is with us and He loves us.

“But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” – Isaiah 40:31, NLT

5. Pray for forgiveness. We must be honest about our sinfulness in order to achieve peace. God is holy. He does not tolerate sin. However, through Jesus, we have a restored relationship with God. Acknowledging God’s holiness puts life in perspective. Through Jesus, we are restored and can come to God to ask for forgiveness. God freely forgives because He loves us.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” – 1 John 1:9, KJV

4. Speak carefully. Be careful with spoken words. So many times, that which lies in our hearts is dramatized with emotion and therefor entitlement. We feel we have the right to “tell someone off” or vent our rage when a calm, well-timed sentence would be most effective. What we feel today can change by the hour or day. Being careful with our words is necessary to decrease our drama.

“When words are many, transgression is not lacking,
    but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.” – Proverbs 10:19, ESV

3. Pray for others. While we can become single-minded, concerned only with our immediate issues, it is important to lift others up in prayer as well. Thankfully, the world is a bigger place than just our discomforts and trials.

“If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.” – 1 Corinthians 13:1, NLT

2. Write Bible verses. How can we live in God’s word if we are not aware of God’s actual words? Having Bible verses present in our lives, helps us keep them at the forefront in our minds. We begin to interpret our lives through the lens of God’s truth.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” – Proverbs 3:5-6, NLT

1. Focus on God’s love. God’s love is the message of Easter. Awareness of God’s love for us and of Jesus’ love for us. Taking time to be loved by God brings meaning to our lives. We have love for others because He first loved us. When we come from this place of knowing and truly feeling God’s love for us, we can rise above the pettiness inherent in interactions with family, friends, and road rage warriors.

“So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.” – 1 John 4:16, ESV

In order to change thought and behavior patterns, we must give ourselves time to heal, being as gentle with ourselves as we would be with others. Be quick to forgive both others as well as ourselves for shortcomings. There may be some days when we move forward three steps only to scoot backward 24-hours later. Nevertheless, if we refuse to stop our newly adopted life-changing habits, we will experience the goodness of God in our lives. We have this promise from God’s Word:

“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.” – John 10:10, NLT

For further study:

Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer – book and study guide

Evidence that Demands a Verdict: Life-Changing Truth for a Skeptical World by Josh and Sean McDowell

Managing Your Emotions Instead of your Emotions Managing You by Joyce Meyer

The Struggle is Real by Nicole Unice

Believing God by Beth Moore

Alcoholics Anonymous offers hope to those serving time in prison